2013: New Beginnings

     January 2013: a new year, a new me. I'm making some changes in my life. It's time to take care of me. I need to be healthier, happier, and myself. I've come to realize that having grown up with so  much tragedy in my life that  I've built a prison around myself. I've locked myself in and even though i can see out, i can't get out. I've become a professional griever. Life has thrown so many obstacles at me that I've become desensitized to tragedy.

     I spent 7 years as a police officer, a career I loved. I wanted to do good and make a difference in my community. I know, that's an answer a lot of people regurgitate about wanting to help people. I am by my very nature very altruistic. During my careers in law enforcement and now the judicial system I have been thrust into the pits of evil, sadness, and despair. I can't but help be dragged down into it. Then I come home to my family.  The light at the end of my tunnel each day.  I talk to them and appear happy for a few moments then my angry side starts to show. The fatigue wears away at my persona and my family suffers. I don't want that.  They don't deserve an angry me.  I've taking a big step to change me.

     I am getting back to basics. I'm running 3-4 days a week and trying to watch what I'm eating. I've lost weight, and am trying to keep up with my responsibilities at home. But I don't know where to begin to learn how to deal with my internal issues. I want to be the best man, husband, and father I can be. My goals are consistency in my running, healthier eating, and unwinding. I must remember to breathe. I have to remember myself.  a little over a year ago I was celebrating the fact that I had lost over a hundred pounds.  I want to be back there and being comfortable with myself.  I need to lose about 50 more pounds to get there.  I's going to be a tough road, but I know I'm capable of doing it.  New me, here I come.  Back to the beginning and back to basics.  2013 is a new year and I'm GOING to be a new me.  Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts.

The old me

Me feeling my best

Trying to get back

     Here's to a happier, healthier, and new New Year. Welcome 2013!