Thursday, June 28, 2012

Life, family, and the search for well being!

     Hello.  Here I am almost finished with May 2012.  Life's been throwing some monumental issues my way testing my adaptability.   I wish some of my knowledge came without  a test.  I had a great beginning of the month, weekly mileage gradually increasing to where I want to go.  My workouts have been consistent.   I even met a group of runners who run the same oh dark hundred hours I do and they asked me to join them.  I got to run with an old friend in Annapolis while I was there for training.   It was great.

     Then mid-month happened.  I wore out to the point of fatigue and crashed.  I was so wiped I slept through my alarm for several days and then apparently injured or severely agitated something in my left quad ;from the way I sit and hold my son.  I haven't run in a week at this point, but I decided after seeing a video on the best stretch for IT band I dd it and was feeling much better.  Today was the day I'd reboot.  About slightly over a mile away from home the pain in my left thigh and groin area began to throttle my performance.  Shortly after it began I was dealing with stabbing pains and had to resort to walking the rest of the way home.  Needless to say I am very disappointed and I'm afraid my mileage will slip away from me.  I don't want to go back where I started from.  I signed up for my 3rd Hidden Treasures 5K in September and the Color Run in D.C. in October.  I want my PR this year.  Where do I go from here?  I think I may need to see a physical therapist and take it from there.  I guess in my free time.  

     Family life has been crazy too.  We are quickly approaching the 1st birthday for our son Grady, but it's also the 1 year anniversary of the loss of his brother Cullen.  The mixed bag of emotions.  The being strong part, sort of.  The hardest part is trying to be a rock for my wife, when I was the complete mess last year.  She was my support and should have had me to lean on.  I was down and out.   There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Cullen.  How much I miss him and that the 5 hours were not long enough.  How life's not fair.

     Here I am at 10:00pm, on June 28th and I'm finally writing this blog.  I have not been able to run in a very long time.  Grady and Cullen's first birthday just passed last weekend.  The party was fun, and we ended with a balloon release for Cullen.  This day was the first time I've completely shut down.  I have been in a daze for the last week or so. I almost feel like I'm not here.   I miss my runs.  It was my outlet and I feel like it helped me deal with my sons death.  Now I am a walking disaster.  I am going to attempt to run tomorrow morning if I can muster the strength to get up.  It's a little difficult when you are up and down throughout the night.  if it's not one kid it's another.  it seems like there isn't a true peaceful night in my home.

     I am hoping to be able to run and not have my pain come back.  I never got into the doctor, but my chiropractor believes I did a slow tear of my quad muscle from the way I had been sitting and holding Grady for months. I seem to be doing better, but I can tell you one thing........bye bye my mileage.  See you in a couple of months. I am hoping to get back in shape for the Hidden Treasures 5K in September and the Color Run in D.C. in October.  I will get to run with my daughter again soon at the local shoe store 5K this fall too.  I am excited about that.  Well, I am hoping to be able to post an update in a few weeks with some mileage numbers listed.  Until then, thanks for reading and if you ever want to give me a shout out, go for it.  It's been awful lately when you feel like there are few who understand you, or that let you know they do anyhow.  I could use some motivation, fire away.  Thank you.  

1 comment:

  1. Wow, sorry about your loss. I can only say to keep writing and keep running and keep loving your family as strongly as I can tell you do. My prayers are with you.

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