:(

Well, I am not doing Warrior Dash. It really sucks being so far from family. I hate it. I was looking forward to this for months. 70 bucks down the drain I don't even get my shirt or helmet that was paid for. What a disappointment. I have't been this down in a very long time. I am not doing things right and I feel like I am losing everything. My hobby is disappearing and I am becoming a mean person. My anger is coming back. It scares me because Allison and the girls have never seen my real temper. I don't know what to do or who I am any more. All I do know is that they don't deserve the nasty bitterness that I exhibit lately. These two babies that are coming are scaring me and making me happy all at once. I am stressed out. I also get to start day shift at work June 1st, but I have a feeling it won't last long because if somebody else leaves I'll be right back to midnights. FML. I don't know anything any more. I have nobody to talk to and nowhere to go. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? WHy can't I be the husband and father these people deserve? I don't know. Ugh. I hate myself for what I am becoming.